Hey, Oppo, never do this...

"Bourbon&JellyBeans" (bourbonandjellybeans) 09/12/2016 at 11:11 • Filed to: None

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Just tried ironing the shirt I was wearing today with no shirt on (makes sense right?). Accidentally burnt the everlasting fuck out of my belly button.

That is all.

jimz > Bourbon&JellyBeans 09/12/2016 at 11:12

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admit it, this is like those people who burn themselves while “cooking” in the nude, right? ;)

Takuro Spirit > Bourbon&JellyBeans 09/12/2016 at 11:12

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You must have one HELL of an outtie.

Bourbon&JellyBeans > Takuro Spirit 09/12/2016 at 11:13

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Lmao No, I picked up the iron because my dog was about to trip over the chord and I turned my head...then I lost spacial awareness. Lol

Xyl0c41n3 > jimz 09/12/2016 at 11:27

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Never make fried chicken in the nude.

Never again.

Hehe. J/k.

Wacko > Takuro Spirit 09/12/2016 at 11:28

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that’s one hell of an exposed fastener!

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Xyl0c41n3 09/12/2016 at 11:52

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I am NOT going to ask for details.

yitznewton > Bourbon&JellyBeans 09/12/2016 at 11:55

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Iron the shirt that you were what?!

Xyl0c41n3 > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 09/12/2016 at 11:56

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I really was kidding. I don’t cook in the nude, because ewww.

But I have burned my arms before from frying food. You never know when something is going to splash up.

ttyymmnn > Bourbon&JellyBeans 09/12/2016 at 11:56

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At least you weren't trying to iron it while you were wearing it.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Xyl0c41n3 09/12/2016 at 12:10

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Yeah... takes “hairnets required for kitchen staff” to a whole new level. Among other things.

And agreed, boiling oil is no fun. Bacon comes at a price sometimes :)

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > yitznewton 09/12/2016 at 12:11

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Was wearing with no shirt on. Duh. What part of that don’t you get?

Xyl0c41n3 > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 09/12/2016 at 12:16

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Eww, dude. The joy of a joke like that is the unspoken implication of the grossness, not in the literal spelling out of the grossness.

*shudders*

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Xyl0c41n3 09/12/2016 at 12:22

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Xyl0c41n3 > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 09/12/2016 at 12:28

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Well, now I’m wondering if such a hair net would come in different styles: bikini briefs, thongs, boxer briefs... you know... whatever floats your boat.

You’d need at least one brief with full coverage in the rear, for those with hairy asses. And there would be a strict “do not lean up against any countertops” rule.

(Yep. I just took it a step further).

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Xyl0c41n3 09/12/2016 at 12:34

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Business opportunity: Nudist cookout edition. Includes various sanitary nets and electric fencing mounts designed to connect directly to the edge of any cooking surfaces.

Alternately, the Rent-A-Fully-Clothed-Chef program.

Bourbon&JellyBeans > ttyymmnn 09/12/2016 at 19:11

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Actually, BDUs (battle dress uniform) are thick enough to do this without getting burnt! #randomfactoftheday

ttyymmnn > Bourbon&JellyBeans 09/12/2016 at 19:15

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Spoken from experience?

Bourbon&JellyBeans > ttyymmnn 09/12/2016 at 19:24

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Yep! Spent a few years as a Civil Air Patrol cadet. Similar to JROTC, but CAP is the Air Force Auxiliary. I flew a Cessna before I learned to drive. Lol

ttyymmnn > Bourbon&JellyBeans 09/12/2016 at 19:30

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I write a lot about airplanes but I’ve never piloted one. Not sure it's in my DNA.

The Compromiser > Bourbon&JellyBeans 09/12/2016 at 20:11

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I’ve burnt my neck ironing my collar. This is something I recommend not doing. Take the time.